Christmas

Martin’s 2014 Christmas Poem

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary,     while I pondered, weak and weary, Many unpaid bills and letters     from my local big-box store — While I nodded, nearly napping,     suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone gently rapping,     rapping at my office door. “’Tis some visitor,” I muttered,     “tapping at my office door —         Only this and nothing more.”

Casey Makes a Bet

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

(With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer) Bob Casey's business worries made him grumble, whine, and moan; His solar thermal enterprise was dropping like a stone. While certain clients wanted water heated by the sun, The calls and jobs were rare these days, which wasn’t very fun. The contractor regretted his decision long ago To be a solar plumber; now his life was full of woe.

The Energy Grinch

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

With apologies to Dr. Seuss

The Third Annual Christmas Parody

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

Act 1, scene 1. An empty lot near Scotland Drive.

Thunder and lightning. Enter three sisters, all RESNET-certified. First rater: When shall we three meet again, In thunder, lightning, or in rain? Second rater: When the drywall work is done, When the zoning battle’s won.

Christmas Carols from the Energy Nerd

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

UPDATED December 23, 2010: Click on the mp3 link above to listen to a recorded version of "The Blower Door Man Is Coming to Town." Many thanks to Greg Cutler and Peter Troast of The Energy Circle for recording one of this year's carols.

Rudolph the Sloppy Builder

You know all about Norm Abram And that old builder named Bob But do you recall The most infamous builder of all?

’Twas the Night Before Christmas

Posted on March 31,2015 by user-756436 in Christmas

’Twas the night before Christmas, when blizzards and chills Strain my budget by raising my energy bills; All the stockings were swaying — a cold winter breeze Made my home’s leaky envelope feel like Swiss cheese (The old windows and ceilings have so many gaps That the kids have to sleep in their kerchiefs and caps) — When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, And I yanked up the creaky old single-pane sash.

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